youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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