Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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