just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
