Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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