Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Randomize
