Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
