How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
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We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
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You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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