can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
