we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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