I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
