My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
