I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
