Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
