yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
