I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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