Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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