why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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