You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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