come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
