you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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