why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
