I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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