i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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