You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
