He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
