I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
