The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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