I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Four minutes until I can fart!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
