I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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