they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
