I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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