i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
