I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
