I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
