I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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