wake up i wanna do it froggy style
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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