He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
