well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
