I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
