"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Your cock deserves a montage
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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