So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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