Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
