I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
