my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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