Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize