I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
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We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
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