Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
