I wannas sexs uuuuu
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
