yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
