Sponge bath it is.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
