I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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