An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
