just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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