so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
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we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
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Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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