Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We need to get me chipped asap
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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