Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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