i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
