This is not my ceiling
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
she pinky promised me she was 18
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
