I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
