So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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