it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
