If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
